Saturday, April 14, 2012

Proof I'm Not a Racist, and why Candy the Prostitute Should Always Carry a Gun.

We all know "neighborhood watch" groups are for douche bags with no life. Such as myself. With that said, I live in Los Angeles. I assure you, someone in my neighborhood will be shot tonight. Why watch for it? That is probably why I am not a member of one. Also, because I don't care about your house. I care about mine. If I'm watching your house, who is watching mine? Let's all just watch our own houses, shall we? Then if we are all watching our own house, we'll know which neighbor's duty it is to kill the kid walking down the street with the Skittles and black skin.

I realize I live in the big ole city, so unlike most other people, I have seen a stranger walking down the street at night. Even black ones. I think there are even strangers walking through my neighborhood right this very moment. Sometimes, that happens. Sometimes, people you don't know are seen in and around your neighborhood. Sometimes, their reasons for being several hundred feet or more from your home are suspect, but most of the time, they're just walking down the street, going somewhere. Say…their dad's girlfriend's house or something.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a problem. If you haven't already heard, or been following the CASE of the gun slingin, neighborhood watchin, trigger happy George Zimmerman and his victim aggressor, the seventeen year old Trevon Martin, who was seen by Zimmerman wielding a bag of Skittles and being black, please do click on the link and take a look. Has anyone spotted the problem yet? No? Allow me to explain.

So, what exactly IS our problem here in the good ole US of A? A little something called "The Right to Bear Arms". I'm not talking about wearing tank tops folks, (though I do think there should be stricter laws on that too) I'm talking about guns. We LOVE our guns. And we LOVE our right to bear em. Now hold on…before the Texans reading this call TSA and blacklist me from my visit in a few weeks, hear me out.

Do I believe we should be allowed to own guns as civilians? Yes, I do. I believe in your home, or shall we say dwelling, you should be able to have a gun. Should anyone break, walk, run, or otherwise enter your house in any way that is menacing, feel free to blow their head off.

If you work the night shift at the local 7-11, and someone walks in for a Slurpee, your money, and perhaps your life, by all means, please feel free to put a few bullets in em.

If your name is Candy, and your down on your luck with kids to feed and a crack habit, I don't know if it is smart for you to have a gun, but I would recommend having one when getting in the car with strange men. After all, serial killers DO love em some prostitutes.

Fun fact: While enforcing stricter gun laws would probably benefit our nation greatly, it would indeed not greatly affect your chances of being killed by a serial killer. Guns are not often their weapon of choice. They like to get up close and personal. Stab you, strangle you, something like that. So we won't use serial killers in our argument for stricter gun laws.

However, we will use Mr. George Zimmerman as an example.

I'm a reader. I LOVE to read. I love to read non-fiction. Mostly about criminals and serial killers. Mostly serial killers. I know it sounds weird, but it is very interesting to learn the similarities and differences between killers. Their childhood, profession, social life, etc. The similarities are astounding, but not surprising. For example, if your kid is a little over zealous with the matches, likes to kill the neighborhood cats, and wet the bed till he was 14, he most likely is going to be a serial killer. And, most likely it is your fault. Here I go again, talking about serial killers. I Love the subject. I could talk about it for hours. I swear I would have been a detective or something, if you didn't first have to be a police officer.

Wait, what? A police officer? DING DING DING. Someone gets a prize if they connected the dots on this one.

I'm not calling George Zimmerman a serial killer. He probably isn't. However, a great number of serial killers, (ie: people who murder people) are wanna-be cops. They have cop buddies, scanners, perhaps they even applied to the academy and were denied for some reason or another. What does this have to do with George Zimmerman? Well…

What was he doing the night Treyvon Martin was walking down the street with his skittles in hand (or pocket)? He was "patrolling" his neighborhood, on a volunteer basis, in his SUV, looking for suspicious characters. WITH A GUN. He called 911, just as any good citizen should, and was told not to pursue, that the police were on their way. He ignored the 911 officer and pursued Treyvon Martin anyway. Does anyone get where I'm going with this?

In my opinion, this case should end here. Anything that happened after the 911 officer told Zimmerman not to pursue, and he did it anyway, is his own fucking fault. If the kid did indeed punch him, he got what he deserved. I can hardly believe that is the case though.

George Zimmerman had a case of the "I wanna be a cop" syndrome. He had it bad. So bad, that he committed a good amount of his time, unpaid, to patrol his neighborhood. What a great guy, right? Not so much. More like, what a guy that should not be allowed to have a gun outside of his dwelling.

George Zimmerman IS the reason for tougher gun laws. Johnny down at the local florist, probably has little reason for packing heat, when his nine to fiver involves arranging roses. Johnny needs to give a good reason to conceal a deadly weapon. Just like anyone else that is requesting to carry a concealed firearm outside of their home. If Johnny can't come up with a GOOD reason, he should be required to keep his weapon at home. Why was Zimmerman carrying a weapon that night? I know that if I was ever douche enough to do a neighborhood watch, I sure as hell wouldn't pursue some six foot plus stranger walking down the street. I would, as most, call 911, and give myself a pat on the back as the cops arrived. Or, feel like an asshole when the kid had a reason for being there. I sure wouldn't pursue him with a gun, unless, perhaps I was feeling a little more like "Officer Zimmerman" that night, then I did "Volunteer neighborhood watch weirdo carrying a concealed weapon, George Zimmerman".

Do I believe Treyvon Martin pursued George Zimmerman in any way, prompting Zimmerman to shoot him out of self-defensive? Absolutely not. Do I believe George Zimmerman is protected under this bull shit "Stand Your Ground" law that is kind of like self-defense, but requires less evidence? I do not. I think he was looking for trouble and when he didn't find it, he created it. Was Treyvon a sweet little angel faced, straight A student? I don't know. Probably not. Was he a thug? I don't know. Probably not. Did he have a reason to be where he was, doing what he was doing that night. Yes, he did.

Zimmerman does most likely have some sort of mental disorder. He probably imagined "saving" the neighborhood many times before. He had dreamed of this day. The local hero. Officer Zimmerman. Oooppss…I mean George Zimmerman. This man is guilty as the day is long. He felt like playing a little game of cops and robbers, and now a seventeen year old kid is dead.

He should be held accountable.

This proves I'm not a racist, right?




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