1. I can sympathize with being pregnant, but Jessica Simpson is fucking huge. She looks like she is having 4 adults. Girlfriend ain't never gonna be the same.
2. Most people only wash their hands after leaving a public restroom because they fear judgement from other restroom goers.
3. I had a sex dream about Barack Obama like two weeks ago.
4. The mail lady came to my door the other day and was like "In this building, we check our mail everyday." Okay so I didn't say it out loud, but I'm thinking "Bitch, do you live here? I pay for this apartment so I can check the mail whenever I fuckin feel like it." Of course I went and checked the mail right away because I didn't want her throwing away my "O Magazine" or anything. There was one piece of mail, and it wasn't even for me. Why she be trippin? Great. I've already been labeled "the tardy mail checker" in the building. If I see her again Ima let her know.
5. Steven and I spent over $900 on eating out last month. Actually, eating in. I'm a terrible house-wife.
6. I actually giggle with excitement when I think about reading all the pissed off facebook posts about Obama's reelection. Gas prices is gonna be like $100 a gallon ya'll!!
7. I don't like dogs. Partly because I'm severely allergic, and partly because they smell, and they slobber on you and are like in your business. They always smell gross. No matter what.
8. When I see someone that doesn't have either a Blackberry or an IPhone, I'm like "Ewww…what's that??!!"
9. Steven and I spent the entire car ride to the Bay for Thanksgiving making up "Sandusky" jokes. TOO SOON.
10. I really feel sorry for Margo Lang. I hope she can get some public assistance or something.
NINE HUNDRED DOLLARS?!
ReplyDeleteDude. You can buy $500 in groceries (and that's still like double what normal people spend) and pay me the $400 difference to cook for you. I can make you all sorts of things, and freeze them. That way all you have to do is thaw, heat, and serve.